Republican Primary = Entertainment

One of my favorite seasons will be here soon, Presidential primary season! Since the Democrats have the incumbent I get to sit back and watch the other side slug it out. Here are the top three current Republican candidates and potential candidates that I find most entertaining and probably least likely to win.  Some candidates will be missing because well they are not entertaining or interesting to me!  I look forward to cackling at their direct quotes and of course SNL’s interpretation of said quotes.  On the serious side, I also look forward to the Republican Party weeding out some wannabes who have left their mark on the political field far too long for my liking.

Rick Perry

After this past few weeks Rick Perry the governor of Texas is being discussed more and more as a potential candidate.  He’s thrown out a few teasing comments implying that he may be running but who knows?  Republicans love him for several reasons.  For one, much to my chagrin, he’s never lost an election.  In the Republicans eyes he must be doing something right! On a more superficial level, he’s good looking.  If you think that does not matter in politics, review the JFK and Nixon debate.  All this looks good, but let’s not forget the calls for Texas to secede from the Union last year!

Although I do not agree with Perry’s politics as someone who grew up in Texas I understood the secession talk.  It’s folklore among prideful Texas that when Texas agreed to join the United States, they created an out clause that would allow them to leave the union whenever they wanted.  A quick look at Civil War history dispels that rumor but it just adds to the pride and sometimes arrogance, of the great State of Texas.  So why is Perry running entertaining to me? It will be fun to watch him explain to the remaining 49 states, why he wants to be President of a country that he threatened to secede from last year.   This also raises the question, where is Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann to question his loyalty to the country?  As someone who grew up in Texas I completely understand that this is fun conversation among Texans, just like Texans when say that the Texas flag is the only flag that can fly at the same level as the American flag because Texas was once a sovereign nation.  I get it and I do not hold it against him but I will be entertained by the conversation!  That’s kind of hard to explain to other Americans.

Of course others will try to make the connection to George Bush as well.   Perry was the Lieutenant Governor of Texas under Bush before he became President, and he’s been in the office of the Governor ever since! Just to put that into perspective, Perry became the Governor while I was in Junior High School and I graduated from law school a few weeks ago and he’s still the governor!  That connection may be attenuated but I would not be surprised if he makes an effort to distance himself from George Bush and that will also be entertaining!

Newt Gingrich

Gingrich’s rise and fall for the most part all occurred before I even graduated High School.  I had to do a little research on him before I could form my opinion.  During my research I found out Newt was not his “government name” as I like to say, thank God.  Newt is short for Netwon, which is a little bit better.  This tid bit of information was very important to me, as you can tell.  The biggest tabloid worthy thing I discovered is that Newt’s current relationship began as an affair, gasps.  Even more disturbing is that this affair was ongoing while he led a crusade against President Clinton for his infidelities.   Watching Gingrich explain this will be interesting for sure.  Besides the fact that he went after President Clinton while he carried on an affair I personally do not care but for the party of morals this is a big deal!  The Republican base includes conservative Christians, they do not care that he’s been married to his current wife for ten years she is still a mistress! I think they are entitled to their opinion honestly and find it entertaining that Gingrich will still attempt to appeal to this base despite his public missteps.

What I really look forward to is that awkward discussion involving the affair. It will come up, you know it will but how to address it is the question I am sure his staff is battling with now. During the democratic primaries last election Chelsea Clinton was questioned about her dad’s indiscretions and avoided the question.  She was the candidate’s daughter not the candidate and even though I did not agree with how she responded, I think she had the right to avoid that question.  Unfortunately for Gingrich as a candidate his private life is now public and he will likely have to address the question in many awkward moments throughout the election season.  And what about his wife? How does she handle this?  Wives are considered a great asset during campaign season.  Michelle Obama was definitely a great addition to the Obama campaign but not everyone is that lucky.   Rudy Giuliani’s campaign provides an example of why the Gingrich campaign should be concerned. During a campaign event, Giuliani’s current wife gushed about her first dates with her husband.  Only problem was, these “first dates” were done in secret with the assistance of New York Police Department because Giuliani was still married to his second wife.  Shocker! So it’s best that the 3rd Mrs. Gingrich avoid discussing those coffee dates over at the Supreme Court during the Lewinsky scandal.  No matter what approach the Gingrich campaign takes it will be the topic of discussion!

Last but not least my favorite is Michelle Bachmann!!

Tell me this woman does not tickle your funny bone every time she opens her mouth! If she had even a chance at winning the Republican nomination then maybe I would not find her as funny.  So far the Republicans have managed to keep her in her place, the kooky corner that is. Recall when the Republicans won the House this past year, this crazy lady set her sights on a leadership position.  Her aspirations were quickly shot down by more sane Republicans (I know that is an oxymoron but you get the point).

She will run for president that’s for sure. She has the ego of a Sarah Palin, reality is not stopping her from running.  During the campaign she will have to answer for all of her historic missteps in the areas of geography, history, science, civics, and the truth.  Those have all been fun but primary season guarantees larger flubs by Bachmann and I can’t wait!  A debate where background knowledge of the issues is necessary will be without a doubt disastrous for Bachmann.  I would imagine it is something she is already preparing for now.  So the only question remaining is who will parody her on SNL!!

Honorable mention: Sarah Palin

She annoys me more than she entertains me.  A good example is the recent Paul Revere flub.   Some may find it entertaining that a former governor cannot formulate a clear statement describing such a pivotal moment in American history but it annoys me to no end!

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